I spend a lot of time being reactive instead of proactive but not by choice. When I “finally” get around to doing something I do it as a reaction to any possible negative consequences that might result from not doing the task. I truly would love to spend more time being proactive but when I have a few daily things that require immediate attention I don’t feel that I have enough time to spend in the proactive mode. I am so tired of living as a reactive responder that when I do have a little bit of time to myself I squander it. I don’t prioritize or use it wisely in order to get ahead. Instead I spend that time resting or watching TV. Ultimately, these activities set me even more behind and as soon as I’m done “relaxing” I am back on reactive mode.
Being Proactive According to Steven Covey
Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are "response-able." They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power--you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language--I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language--I can't, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do--they have no choice.
Steven Covey states that proactive people take responsibility for their own life and actions and do not point fingers at others or outside circumstances. If I compare how I am to the above definition I feel that I am proactive. I don’t blame others or outside circumstances for how I react to certain circumstances. It is a fact that I cannot control others around me or what they do. I do take responsibility for my own actions and reactions. But too much is impossible to deflect. Even though others around me and their actions should affect me I refuse to give into their negative energy and instead choose not to react in a negative way. I smile and stay positive and don’t let others change my mood or my drive to do something. But I cannot say that their actions, needs, words, problems, whining, or lack of support do not build an obstacle for me that takes a lot of my time and energy that would be better spent on myself. Being proactive is an attitude and a way of looking at things. I believe that I have potential I simply need less obstacles on my road to proactivity.
Teaching someone else about being proactive
I would love for my son to learn to be proactive now so that it can be a life skill that he can learn and incorporate in his daily life. I would like to start by encouraging my son to do things when he is asked to do them. Often when we ask him to do something he whines, cries, and avoids the task. Then he waits until we are starting to get upset to continue to do the above-mentioned. Once we are upset we either speak more firmly to him or take a deep breath and think of a way that we can motivate him to do what he was asked to do, even if he doesn’t want to. I would like for him to do what is asked of him right after he is asked to do it.
In order to teach my son how to incorporate habit one into his daily life I will try to make it fun. I will explain what being proactive means and some of the benefits that an individual can enjoy after being proactive. He tends to get excited to try new things so I will act excited when explaining it. I will then ask him if he’s ready to be a proactive boy. I believe that he will be excited and will really try to have me catch him being proactive.